Light & Dark
by AnonymousJJ
Summary: After losing her high school sweetheart, Ana doesnt know what to do with herself. Will his best friend be able to help her and pull her back, or will Ana lose it forever? *no cheating, Elena, Jack or other deaths*
1. Chapter 1

He was my love, my life, my soul. Darren Jackson was everything to me and in an instant, he was gone. I don't understand why God feels the need to take all the good ones away. Darren was a good guy, loved by everyone who had to pleasure to meet him. Now, here I sit by his grave, writing in this stupid journal, crying many more tears. I'm surprised I can even cry still, it's all I've been doing for two weeks. I just want the pain to stop.

My name is Anastasia Steele and I am 17 years old. I'm in my final year at the high school I attend and pretty much, my life is perfect. Was perfect. I'm an only child but I have a couple girlfriends that should be considered family, we've known each other since we were little girls. Whenever our moms would get together for tea, we would play dress up, pretend we were older and could be anything we wanted to be. I always aspired to be like my mother; stay at home cooking and cleaning, taking care of my family. She never complained and always had a smile on her face.

She always told me I could do anything if I put my mind to it. If I came home with a lower grade than I wanted, she would scoop me some ice cream and sit me at the table so we could talk. We had the best relationship and some of my friends were jealous of that because their mothers could've cared less. Unfortunately, my mother and I aren't really on speaking terms right now, but I'm jumping ahead of myself. Once I got into high school, everything changed. I met my amazing boyfriend, Darren. He was seriously everything to me; my light, my star, my heart and soul. We did everything together and when he tried out for the football team, I became the head cheerleader.

We were inseparable. We dated for four years before everything changed one night. It was the final game of the season, we needed one more touchdown to win the game. That's where my man comes in and wins it for the team. He kicked the ball right over the goal line, the crowd erupting in cheers so loud you can barely hear yourself think. I raced for and threw myself in his arms just as he leans down to whisper in my ear,

"Wanna go for a ride tonight babe, down to the usual spot?" I nod my head and give him my sweet smile. One of the things I love about him is he's never pressured me to have sex with him. I never gave him my virginity until last year and I'm glad we waited and I'm glad he stuck by me. I give him one final kiss before his best friend Christian grabs and drags him down to the locker room.

"I will have him back to you in one piece, Ana, don't you worry." Christian yells back making me laugh. Him and Darren have been friends since middle school and at times, Christian and I fight for Darren's attention, even though I always win. I vaguely remember all the details, some of them come back and shatter the walls I've started building or I'm left with little black holes. My shrink says its normal when something so traumatic happens in ones life, but all I want to know is why I can't remember his voice. I remember his face, his kisses and his touch but all I really want is to hear him tell me he loves me. I want to hear him say my name over and over again while we make love. I want him to tell me that everything's going to be okay even though I know things are far from it.

I do remember Darren coming out of the locker room, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the truck. He gives me a soft kiss before opening the door for me; always the gentleman. As he climbs in, starts the truck and leaves the parking lot, our song comes on and we start singing along to the lyrics.

_Baby when i look at you  
You know it breaks my heart in two  
How beautiful you are  
I've seen you in a million dreams  
Now you're finally here with me  
We will never be apart  
I wanna hold you forever  
That's all i'll ever need_

Darren sings to me, pulling me in. I never thought I could love someone as much as I do him. He's my forever...

_You are my love  
You are my life  
My heart and soul  
The truest friend i've ever known  
You are my world  
All of my dreams  
My fantasy, my reality  
I love everything you are_

After that, I seem to have a black hole. All I remember seeing is a bright light and a lot of pressure on my chest. My parents told me that Darren threw himself onto of me to protect me from the impact after a drunk driver ran a red light and hit us. I almost wish he hadn't, maybe then, we would still be together and I wouldn't be left down here by myself. My mom and I do nothing but fight because she thinks I am sulking too much, that I need to move on and forget him. It's not that easy. For the first time in my life I swore at my mother which resulted in her slapping me and me sporting a red hand print on my face. I don't have the patience for anyone's crap any more and she was acting like a selfish bitch so I called her on it. That was the first night I had seen Christian since Darren's service, and it was still hard. We both cried on each others shoulders, taking comfort in having someone that understood exactly how the other felt. After we pulled apart and decided to go out separate ways, we agreed to meet every night in the cemetery, whether it be to talk or sit quietly infront of Darren's headstone, and for the first time since the accident, I feel I have a friend. One who isn't going to look at me with sadness in their eyes, or want to hug me every time they pass by. I don't need sympathy phone calls or flowers or sad smiles. As much as I would love to have my boyfriend back, I know that's not possible, so all I need is a shoulder. A confidant. A true friend. That person is Christian, the only other person who knew DJ as well as I did has now become my best friend and together we will get through this.

I finally get up from my spot, deciding I should probably go home even if I do hide in my room. After placing a kiss on the hard headstone, I say my goodbyes. "I love you, D. Always and forever you will remain in my heart. No one else can or will take your place." I take a shaky breath, hoping the tears will stay at bay just a little bit longer. "I miss you. It hasn't gotten any easier, babe. You will be happy to know that Christian has been here for me just as I have been for him. I'm glad you had him in your life, he probably kept your head screwed on tight. I have to go home now but I promise I will be back, I will never leave you. I love you, Darren Jackson." I place one more kiss on the rock before I turn to leave, walking straight into a hard chest. I know instantly who it is and it causes the dam to break. Christian wraps me in his arms and just lets me cry. I feel like such a horrible friend but right now, he knows what I need and that's comfort.

And Darren. I need Darren.

**This wouldn't leave my brain, it's kind of sad for me but if no one likes it, I won't continue. No hard feelings, honest opinions are welcome! I do promise a HEA though, it's a given with a C&A story, it will just take them a little while to get there.**

**The song in this chapter is ****_You Are - Jimmy Wayne_****, and this idea came to me when I heard ****_What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts_****.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This one is a bit shorter and I apologize. I tried to get it out last night but I'm having a hard time channeling my "dark" side. I have a Pinterest board started for this story as well; Anonymous JJ or Light & Dark**

**xox Jac**

With every passing day, I grow more and more tired of fighting. My reason for living was taken from me so I don't understand how people expect me to just move on with my life like he was never a part of it. Are they expecting Mirela, his little sister, to do the same? Or what about his parents? How can people want them to forget that they had a son? I'm no different, he was just as much a part if my life as he was theirs.

Laying in the dark on my bed, I start to wonder if anyone would miss me. I mean, life is so unpredictable and you don't know what's going to happen five minutes from now or even tomorrow. I could easily take my own life with no regrets. I know my parents wouldn't miss me, all they do is fight now. My dad blames himself for the way I have been acting and my mother blames me for the way my father treats her. It's one viscous cycle and I seem to be stuck in the middle regardless of where the blame and hurt begins. It could be done so easily, too. Scissors, rope, gun...and that's when my eyes land on the bottle of sleeping pills beside the bed. That would most definitely be the easiest way to take myself out of the equation. Just as I start thinking about how I would go about it, Christians face flashes before me.

Could I really leave him here by himself? I know he's going through almost the same as me, except his family is more understanding than mine. When he showed up at the cemetery earlier, he knew exactly what I needed, he always knows and he's always there. His arms are so comforting, and I don't have to say anything to express my gratitude, he knows I would do the same for him. My girlfriends have stopped talking to me, they don't even look in my direction when I pass them on the street. I don't have the plague, I'm mourning. Christian is literally the only person I have left in this world and he's my best friend just like I am to him. I'd probably be face down in a ditch already if it weren't for him.

The night my mother slapped me, he was ready to charge here and give her a piece of his mind but I stopped him, thank god! The connection I feel to him is so strong, even with Darren I never felt it like this, but my thinking is because he's the only thing I have left of DJ. He's the last remaining piece. I hope he will always be a part of my life. Unless I decide to check out early of course.

**_A couple hours later..._**

I'm awoken suddenly by something tapping my window. I open my eyes and stumble sleepily to take a look and I'm surprised to see Christian standing there. I open the window for him to climb in, "What are you doing here? It's...three am, Christian."

"I know, and I apologize. I just couldn't sit in my house anymore. With it being Darren's birthday today, I just didn't want to be alone and I know you wouldn't want to be either." He looks at me with sadness in his eyes even though he offers me a soft smile.

I hang my head down, "I'm a horrible girlfriend." I say before the tears start falling.

Christian grabs me in his arms, "You are not! Why would you say that Ana?"

"Because I forgot his birthday. I never forgot his birthday, Chris. Ever." He leads me over to my bed and lays me down. Than he walks over and locks my door before joining me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Just because you forgot does not make you a bad girlfriend. You've been dealing with his death, amongst other things, so no one can blame you. When you wake up, we will go get some balloons and we will go visit him okay? I promise."

I nod my head against his chest, relishing in the fact that he's warm, comforting and smells great. He's my happy place, my solace, my friend. I fall asleep with images of him in my head, I always have him in my life. One image causes me to bolt awake though to look beside me and see a snoring Christian. I can't help but smile and move a piece of hair out of his face as the dream comes back to me. Me and him running and laughing before he finally catches me in his arms and showers me in kisses. All of a sudden, a little boy comes running up to us, he had to be no more than three. He placed his hands on my belly wanting up and that's when I see that I'm pregnant.

Wait a minute...Pregnant?! I can't be...we were always careful. I sit there mentally calculating when we had sex last and when my period was supposed to come. "Oh...fuck..." And with that, I run to the bathroom and empty the contents of whatever is in my stomach. After I'm finished, I lean back against the wall and cry. I can't figure out if they are sad or happy tears, though. I place my hand on my belly and give it a soft rub. "Your all I have left, little one. It's just you and me now..."

"And me." I look up and there's Christian standing there looking down. He kneels beside me, "I will always be here, Ana. You know that. I will take you to every doctors appointment, every ultrasound. I will be by your side in the delivery room. And I will be the most favourite uncle in the whole wide world. Don't ever feel like your alone because your far from it." He kisses my forehead before lifting me up and taking me back to bed. "Sleep, Ana. You two have a big day ahead of you." And once again, I fall asleep in the warmth and comfort of his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

My name is Christian Grey and I have a problem. God, it sounds like I should be in a rehab group or some shit. About a month ago now, I lost my best friend. I remember it like it was yesterday, though, and I have felt guilty because I probably could have stopped or stalled it if I had only told Darren how I felt.

All I had to do was talk to him. I gave myself a pep talk in the mirror after my shower, and even that was pointless because I sweat every time I think of what could happen. I don't know how I allowed myself to fall for Ana, it's guys code. That shit just isn't allowed and I knew I had to tell him. He had to know how I felt and how I was going to distance myself from them so I could get my feelings in check. It wasn't fair to them but I never wished anything bad on either one. He was my best friend, I loved him like a brother. She became my other best friend, and I loved her. I just loved her. Still love, actually. Fuck, this is bad.

All day long, I had hid from them and if we didn't have a game that night, than I wouldn't have had to see them at all.

"Hey dude, you okay? I haven't seen you all day, what's going on?" Darren says as he walks into the locker room.

I look at him startled, "Nothing, just have a lot on my mind. We will talk after the game, maybe grab some beers or something."

"There's actually something I want to talk to you about, too." As I look at him again, he has a shit eating grin on his face. I pat him on the shoulder as I walk out to the field to warm up. I really wish I never felt this way, it would be so much easier if I was just a normal friend who let them have a normal relationship and not have to worry about assholes like me fucking it up. I must have zoned out pretty good because before I know it, everyone else is coming out to the field to get ready for the game and coach is calling me to the bench.

I'm Darren's back-up, second quarterback. We usually switch back and forth each game but coach has noticed I haven't been on it lately so he's pulled me off the field. I don't mind, I get to watch Ana in her cheerleader outfit, and she looks damn sexy in it too. I still can't figure out why I just couldn't leave it alone. Darren means the world to me and if he's with Ana, that means she's definitely off limits. I'm barely paying attention to the game until I hear all the cheering and look at the scoreboard to see we've won. I see D come off the field and run to Ana, and even though I feel my heart breaking as I see them kiss, I brush it off and grab him so we can talk.

"I will have him back to you in one piece, Ana, don't you worry." I yell at Ana as she just shakes her head and shoots me one of her beautiful smiles. "So, what's up dude?" I say turning to my best friend.

I hear him let out a big breath. "I think tonight's the night dude..."

"Uh, freshen my memory, but night for what?" I ask confused.

"I'm going to ask Ana to marry me. I think it's time. I love her and I think she's it for me."

I look at him in shock, "you THINK? Shouldn't you know for sure that this is what you want because you can't really undo it with an eraser bro.."

"What's your problem? I thought you of all people would be happy for me?"

It's now or never right? "I'm not saying I'm not happy, Darren, I just want you to be sure. I mean, in the end it is your decision but I just want you to make she's the right one." I can't believe this. Of all fucking things for him to want to talk to me about, he chooses this. "Look, I wish you luck. I know she loves you and you love her. So, do what you have to do and call me tomorrow. I'm going to go home and study for the Bio test we have on Monday. Night dude."

We bump fists before I grab my bag and head out of the school. I can't help but shake my head as I recall our conversation and I'm stunned again at the word "marry". We are 18 years old, just getting ready to graduate and he's thinking of marriage? I mean, sure, when I think of Ana I see marriage and house with a white picket fence, five kids running around the yard chasing a dog, us growing old together...but those are my dreams that will never become a reality.

As I pull out of the parking lot, I stop by and see my brother Elliott for the usual twelve-pack. It's our thing after a game but tonight he's ditching me for some blonde, which is fine because I just want to be alone with my thoughts.

I find myself at the lookout half pissed, thinking about how different life would be if I was the one that asked her out when I had the chance. I just figured there was no point in fighting with a friend over a girl and have tried to hide my feelings for the last four years. I just don't know if I can be friends with them anymore and continue to stomp on my own heart. Just as I'm opening my eighth beer, my cell rings with my brothers id popping up on the screen. I hit ignore not realizing that his phone call would be the one that would change my life forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**...Christian cont...**

I finished my case before I finally called Elliott back, I don't know why people can't just leave someone alone when they don't answer their phone. Don't need to be calling it ten billion times.

"Hey Ell..."

"Christian! Where the fuck are you?! I have been trying to call you for an hour! I need you to come to the hospital, there's been an accident..."

"Is it mom and dad? Are they okay?"

"It's not mom and dad, bro. It's Ana and Darren..."

From then on, it's blurry. I remember parking at the hospital and running inside, seeing Darren's parents, Dean and Karen, crying while holding each other. I look against the wall and see Ray and Carla, Ana's parents, doing nothing but staring at the emergency room door. The room is packed full of people and the only one I acknowledge is my brother. "What the fuck happened, Elliott? I just saw them two hours ago...what... "

I watch his lips move as he tells me about the accident, not making a sound. But, as soon as he says Darren died, I feel myself fall into the chair behind me, tears streaming down my face. "I want to see him."

"You can't, Chris. It's bad..they won't even let his parents see him. You can go see Ana though... If you want."

Do I? I mean, she was hurt too, of course I should want to see her. Isn't this what I wanted? Her without him? No! No, this is wrong! My best friend shouldn't have died, he should still be here to see me and his parents and his girlfriend. We had a plan, he promised that he'd always be there. I know that sounds girlish but I don't give a fuck. "I..umm..I have to..go. When she wakes up, tell her to call me." I take a breath and look around the room, "I'm so sorry..."

As I'm walking out the hospital doors, I can hear my brother calling after me but I can't bring myself to turn around. That was the worst night of my life and all I wanted to do was be alone. My friend, brother, was gone. No matter what I did, he wasn't coming back.

The following week was hard, harder than I thought. Every time I went out, people would apologize and say how much he's missed, so I just decided to stay home. It didn't hurt as much; until his funeral. I got up that morning, put my suit and sunglasses on and headed to the cemetery not realizing that seeing Ana for the first time since would hurt me even more than I wanted to admit. Even though she had sunglasses on like me, and her head was down, she still looked beautiful, heartbroken and sad but beautiful. I wanted to go and embrace her badly but thought I better not, so instead I watched her from afar.

I tried to stay away. I would make sure I always went to D's grave after her and if she was still there when I showed up, I would hide until she was gone. I was trying to do the right thing by him and not follow through with my feelings but I found it harder and harder every day. The more I saw how upset she was, the more I wanted to comfort her and show her that she wasn't alone. One night it all changed.

I had been sitting there talking to Darren when I decided to tell him exactly how I felt. "Bro, you and I have been through a lot over the years but what I'm about to tell you probably would've ruined us for life. I tried to ignore it, I tried to push them away. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop loving Ana. I was even going to tell you the night you got into that accident but after you told me that you were going to ask her to marry you, I decided to put my heart on hold because you meant more to me than some stupid feelings. But now...now what? What the fuck am I supposed to do? I've ignored her, made sure we were never in the same room together, and I feel like a complete ass for it. She needs me just as much as I need her and here I am talking to a fucking hole in the ground. You can't hear me, you don't know how I feel. This is fucking retarded, man. You should be here! I'm so fucking mad right now..." A single tear falls down my cheek, but as I hear leaves crackling behind me I quickly wipe it away.

Not really knowing what to expect, I turn around and see Ana standing there looking shocked to see me, just as I'm shocked to see her with a handprint on her face. We sat there that night for three hours just talking, about everything. And now, as I'm sitting down beside her on the bathroom floor holding her as she cries, I know I did the right thing by not staying away. This puts us in a whole new position though. Do I tell her how I feel and help her raise my best friends baby by taking on the roll of its father? Or do I just take on the roll as uncle Christian? I guess I will just have to take whatever I can get and whatever she is going to give me, but as long as she knows, I'm not going anywhere. My place is beside her, protecting not just her but the baby that she is carrying as well. It's the least I could do for Darren since he can't be here to fulfill the role.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ana**

It should not be this hard to buy a god damn pregnancy test! I mean, all you gotta do is pee on it so why is there so many choices? I grab the first one my eyes land on and try to hide it on my way to the teller. The last thing I need is for the wrong person to see and start spreading rumours. As I quickly pay and get them to double bag it for me, I make my way out to the car where Christian is waiting for me.

"I cannot believe I am actually doing this, Chris! What if I am pregnant? What am I supposed to do?"

"We are going to get through it. Like I told you last night, you are not alone, you will never be alone. I am going to be here to help you every step. If your not pregnant, than that's fine. But if you are? That's fine, too! Now lets get you home so we can stop worrying about it, okay?"

I nod my head as he starts the car and backs out of the parking space. We decided I would just do the test at my house, making it easier since I knew my mom was home. If it turned out positive, than I could just tell her and get it over with. I don't really know what to expect for a reaction, I can guarantee that she won't be happy but I hope she can get over it and just be there for me. I'm glad we went to the pharmacy closest to my house, so as soon as we are parked in the driveway, I hop out and head upstairs to the bathroom. I'm so nervous, my hands start shaking as I try to open the box and when I hear a knock on the door, I almost drop it in the toilet.

"You okay in there Ana? Can I, uh, help..with anything?"

I can't help but laugh, "No Christian, you can't but thank you."

"I'm just nervous, I'm sorry. Just let me know when your done."

Well I finally get myself under control, I follow the instructions and place the test on the counter while I wash up. I call Christian in to wait with me, sitting on the side of the tub holding hands. So many things start running through my head as the timer goes off. I grab the test and stare at it in disbelief. "I'm pregnant.." I whisper. I look beside me at Christian who has a smile spread across his face. "I'm having a baby...his baby."

"Hey, look at me," Christian says while grabbing my face, "whether you agree with me or not, I'm going to be here to help you so if you don't mind me saying, we are having a baby." He kisses my forehead and pulls me in for a hug, warming me up when I didn't realize I was cold. I don't know what I would do without him here by my side.

After deciding there was no time like the present to confront my mom, we made our way downstairs to find her. It didn't take long though, she was in the kitchen as always getting dinner prepped. I figured I was safer standing in the hallway, so I cleared my throat and waited for her to turn around.

"Oh, hello Anastasia. Your going to grace us with your presence today I see." She then looks beside me and mumbles a hello to Christian.

"Um, mother, there's something I need to speak to you about..."

"Please tell me you are not pregnant. That is the last thing this family needs from you right now."

The shock must be clearly written on my face as I prepare to give her the answer I know she doesn't want to hear. "Actually...I am. I just found out a little while ago. I'm surprised, but happy..." I stutter out.

"Well, aren't you quite the little slut. Your boyfriends dead for not even a month and you've already moved on. With his best friend to be exact. Why don't you do us all a favour and just get rid of the damn thing."

I sit, staring at my mother, not wanting to believe that she actually just said what she did. "Actually mom...it's not Christians. It's Darren's. and weren't you the one telling me to move on and get over it? Your giving me fucking whiplash here. I can never make you happy anymore can I? Despite what you may be thinking, we are not together but Christian is going to help me raise this child, your grandchild..."

"I don't want to know anything about what your carrying," she interrupts. "If this is what you want then you can march your pregnant ass up those stairs, pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house! I am not going to support you while you sit on your ass. I am done having this conversation, and I have errands to run. If you are not out by the time that I get back, then I will take matters into my own hands."

I stand in the kitchen flabbergasted at my mother. Of all the things for her to say when I told her happy, well what I thought was happy, news and she tells me to get out of her house. I feel a single year slide down my cheek as Christian wraps his arms around me.

"It's okay, Ana. You have me, okay? We will figure something out, somewhere to go. Hey I know, we could go on a little trip. Just you and me. How does that sound?"

All I can do is nod my head has he leads me up the stairs to my bedroom. I guess I should start packing, I decide as I grab my suitcases from the closet. Before I can empty my dresser, Christian grabs my hand and leads me over to my bed and sits me down beside him. I look over at him to see he's deep in thought. "Are you okay, Chris?"

He shakes his head, "No, actually I'm not. This feels really wrong but we need to talk. About us, the baby. The whole situation." He must see the confused look on my face so he continues. "I'm in love with you, Ana. I always have been. But, me being the good guy, I pushed my feelings aside because Darren was my best friend. But, and this is where it's wrong, now that he's gone, I don't want to just be your friend. I want there to be an us. I want you to be my girlfriend and eventually my wife and we will raise our children. Yes, I know that this is Darren's baby, and I respect that. I don't plan on taking that away, I will always make sure they know who their father is, but I want to be their dad. God, this sounded so much better in my head..Ana, I'm sorry."

"You...love..me?" The words sound weird coming from my mouth but yet they sounded so good coming from his. "Christian, I..oh god.."

"No, it's okay. I'm an idiot. I don't know what I was thinking telling you that. I mean, my best friend just died for fucks sakes here I am confessing my love for his girlfriend. God, what the fuck is wrong with me?!" He jumps off the bed and starts pacing, running his hands through his hair.

"Christian, it's okay!" At my words, he stops and looks at me. I guess I never really gave him a good look before. His curly copper hair that's always messy, his piercing gray eyes, chiseled jaw and perfect nose. The way his muscles ripple under his shirt, his strong hands that will soon be resting on my growing belly. Everything about him is sexy, and I really don't know why I couldn't see it before. I cock my head to the side while I am thinking of how things could be now, and maybe it is wrong of me to be looking at Darren's best friend the way that I am, but right now I want to be selfish. My boyfriend is gone and instead of having to be alone, I have Christian willing to pick up the pieces. He's willing to love me, help me and to raise this child. What isn't there to love. Before I know what's going on, he is bending down in front of me and I'm grabbing his face, pulling him in for a kiss. A kiss that makes me want things. It makes me feel things I never felt with Darren, and that's when it hits me. I was in love with him, sure. But whatever this is with Christian...this is real, true love. The spark that ignites between the two of us was never felt with anyone else. It's like fireworks shooting off into the night sky, lighting it up for the world to see. So when we pull apart, I whisper against his lips, "I love you too."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N. so, it was brought to my attention this morning that there is another story out there with the name that was picked for mine. I just want to say that I did not take this character, I've had this name picked out for the last week. That being said, I'm going to do a time jump. Enjoy**!

**6 Months Later...Ana Cont...**

"So, have you thought more about what we discussed earlier?" I hear Christian say, interrupting my daydream.

"Depends on what your referring to. If its the sex, then maybe," I let out a soft chuckle. "If it's the names, I'm not sure. I want some part of Darren since, you know."

"Baby, we can talk about it, it doesn't bother me. Like I've been telling you, I will not be taking his place. This is his child just as much as it is mine, so yes I do think that the child should have part of his name. Since you don't know if you want to find out yet, we will pick a name for each. If its a girl, I think we should use Alexandria but not sure on the middle name. What about a boys name?"

It doesn't take much thinking for me, and I blurt out the name before I have time to stop myself, "Jaxon, with an X. It was Darren's last name." As soon as the words are out, I stop myself from looking at Christian. "I'm sorry..." I whisper.

"For what? Ana, there is nothing wrong with that name. The child will have my last name, that's all I'm asking of from you." he says while taking my hand in his and playing with the beautiful ring that's now sitting on my finger. I'm suddenly thrown into memories of the last few months.

xxxx

_After Carla had basically thrown me out of her house, we packed as much of my stuff as we could and put them into Christians car. I didn't know where I was going to go or how I would raise this baby with no money. "Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing..." I mutter under my breath._

_"I don't want to ever hear those words come out of your mouth again, Ana." Christian says, scolding me. "You are doing the right thing, especially since its not just about you any more. Your mother is making a mistake and she will realize that, but that's her problem. Look," he starts, turning in the seat to look at me. "We are going to my place so I can talk to my parents. Whatever happens then, we will figure it out, but you. Are. Not. Alone. I don't know how many more times I have to say it before its drilled into your pretty little head."_

_"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how you thought this would go. And I am going to be an emotional wreck, you know that right?" I see him nod._

_"But that's why I love you. You don't hide what your feeling." He softly kisses my forehead before turning back around and starting the car. As he backs out of the driveway, I can't help the tears that escape while watching the house I grew up in fade more and more into the distance. I wonder what my dad will say when mom tells him the news. Since I know it's an hour drive to Christians parents house from mine, I lean my head against the glass in hopes I can fall asleep, take myself away from the world just for a little while._

xxxx

"_Christian, there you are! Your father and I have been looking for you. Oh, hello Ana, dear." I turn around from my spot on the dock to see Grace standing there with a worried look on her face._

_"Sorry mom, we just came out here to talk for a little bit. I didn't mean to scare you." Christian replies before getting up to give his mother a hug. "There's actually something Ana and I would like to speak to you and dad about, can we go in the house?" As she nods her head, he grabs my hand and pulls me up, but never letting me go._

_After we take our seats in the living room, Christian starts telling his parents of our situation. I find myself not being able to make eye contact with them until Grace comes over and bends down in front of me._

_"Ana, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but our son is right. You will never be alone in this. Not only do you have him beside you, but you have Carrick and myself. We will be here to support you any way that we can and any way that you allow us. If your parents won't step up to the role, then we will be parents for you, and grandparents for your child as well."_

_I can feel my eyes filling up with tears. "Thank you Grace. That's the other thing we need to speak to you guys about." I look beside me at Christian and he grabs my hand, nodding for me to continue. "Well, uh, since Darren isn't here to fulfill the role, Christian has decided he wants to. Before you jump to conclusions, I never asked, and until earlier this morning I had never considered my feelings for your son. I love him, Grace, I really do. Not only was he a friend before, but he's been my best friend since. I couldn't ask for anything or anyone better and we have decided that we are going to be together, as a couple, and he will be a father to my child. Our child. I know that Darren would have chosen Christian over anyone else if he could have..." Before I can continue, Grace has pulled me into her arms and the reads start falling._

_"Shh, it's okay darling. It's okay." She whispers in my ear. This is what my mother should have done. She should be the one consoling me, telling me everything will be fine, that we will make it through this. But if I can't have her, I know that the wonderful woman with her arms around me is the next best thing._

xxxx

_"Christian?" _

_"Yeah baby?"_

_"Do you think we did the right thing by moving? I mean, your parents were right when they said that we can't run. And I know they support us and the baby but I felt bad living in their house."_

_He rolls over to face me. "Ana, it's not like we are never going to see them. And of course they are going to support us, what other choice do they have? Look, once we get to California, we don't have to worry about anyone but ourselves. No one said we had to live there permanently, we could decide its not our thing and move back to Seattle. Mom and dad said it takes one phone call, okay?" I nod my head as he snuggles into me, resting his hand on my small bump. Hard to believe I'm already three months along. "I love you, Ana, and I always will. And I know this isn't the most romantic way to do this but.." He takes a deep breath before looking up at me, "will you marry me?"_

_"Yes." I whispered as I pull his lips up to mine, and for the first time we make love. It was so magical that even when we were done and he was cuddling me again, I felt like I was floating. I don't think I've felt this good in a long time, and I finally close my eyes, falling into a restless sleep, dreaming of little hands and feet_.

xxxx

"Baby? Come back to me, Ana"

I jolt out of my flashbacks when Christian touches my face to wipe the tears away that I didn't realize were falling. I look next to me, "I'm sorry Christian. That came out of nowhere.."

"Where were you? You've looked lost for a while now." He looks at me with concern etched on his beautiful face.

"I was just thinking about the last couple months. Did we do the right thing by moving here? I feel bad for leaving your parents. And yes I know we've already talked about this, but I almost feel like I'm ready to go home."

Without saying a word, he pulls me up to stand in front of him, placing little kisses all over my belly. "Little one, your mommy is starting to go crazy on me." We both laugh, but I still smack his arm, slowly bringing my hands up, tangling them in his hair. "We are going to be the perfect little family, this I promise you both. Home for me is wherever you two are, but if your ready to go back to Seattle, then that's where we will go. Maybe you will finally let me tell mom that we have a wedding to plan."

"I do think its time. And I suppose we can tell your parents, but I'm serious about not wanting to get married until after the baby comes. I'm not even eighteen yet, and you just turned nineteen. We have all the time in the world babe, I'm not going anywhere." I give him a soft kiss hoping to make him forget about wedding stuff. "Now, how about the offer of sex? I'm feeling pretty horny right now and that's something only you can fix." Before I have time to blink, he is throwing me into his arms bridal style, carrying me into our cabin on the beach. God I love this man.


End file.
